#and on 9 as well and hope it isn't one of those scenarios where the 500 bucks

[ramblingautisticman]

Why Is This Song In My Poolverine Playlist, A Series.

(I am extremley insane and make playlists for every ship/character/show I like, and yes there is a reason each on is in there. I think of lil scenarios, situations or straight up story ideas because of a song- so enjoy this series where I write them all down!)

Today's song, Car Lights by James Marriot.

So, firstly, this is a Wade and Logan song. The lyrics and the vibe and everything just fit in my head perfectly. (All of the lyrics in Red are Wade, all in Orange are Logan)

Now, the first verse seems to me like Wade's thoughts as he sits at the table, surrounded by the people he saved, staring into the pizza on his plate zoned out.

Wade questions why he's still here. He was ready to die, to finally be the hero, and get his happy ending. He was going to finally matter. He was going to finally make a difference- but here he was. Logan had saved him. Logan had fought hard to do so - for some strange reason- and now his family of 9 (well, 12. Laura, Logan and Dogpool all had a place here now, and he hoped it lasted for a long while.) were sat around his shitty dining table, drinking shitty beer and eating even shittier pizza. It felt weird. He felt out of place.

"Why am I here? Could you come instead? I'm ten good miles out of my depth."

But he should be happy. He should be glad that his family are safe- that he has found more people to add to his photo! Everything should feel perfect! Yet, he still feels as he did before. He still has this gnawing feeling of inadequacy, the feeling that- even after all this- he still hasn't done anything of value. It was only because Logan agreed to come with him that they were safe now. If Logan had said no, or if he hadn't been able to find a Logan who had agreed, they would all be dead. They would all be nothing.

"Some more fake smiles, I'll just nod my head."

And while he wants to just drown in those thoughts for awhile, Logan manages to snap him out of it by taking Mary Puppins from him, telling him to talk to Vanessa. And what's strange is that- even after doing this for her- he doesn't really feel that spark as he looks at her. He feels this strange empty pit in his stomach where previously there had been this wondrous feeling of hope and love. Wade suddenly can't help but feel stupid for even trying to win her back. Vanessa was happy with Dermot. Vanessa had moved on and suddenly- sitting here with everyone- he realizes those feelings of hope and love have shifted. He isn't sure what to, but they have shifted, and it makes his stomach twist. Maybe this was a sign that Wade really wasn't important. That he wasn't destined to do great things and that he would be alone forever. So he shares a quiet word, tries to pretend he is happy and still inlove, and soon enough they are holding hands ontop of the table. But it doesn't feel like it used too. That electricity isn't there and Wade finds that he doesn't want to try and chase it. He doesn't know if he can set himself to just be hurt again- but he also knows he doesn't want it. He doesn't know what he wants now, but maybe it isn't this, and that scares him.

"For one more glimpse of your breath. Stained shirts and cigarettes. I failed again, tried my best."

Soon enough, everyone has said their goodbyes, Logan and Wade left to clean the apartment up while Al goes to bed. It's quiet for a moment, before Logan asks how it went with Vanessa, and Wade freezes at the question. He should feel something about the fact they aren't getting back together- shouldn't he? Should be upset or annoyed or angry or something- but he really isn't. He thinks that Vanessa is better off without him. Everyone he has ever gotten close too ends up hurt anyway, and Vanessa is the massive proof of that. And he must not of answered because suddenly he feels a strong but gentle hand on his shoulder, and Logan is stood infront of him with a concerned expression. It makes Wade feel safe and seen and fucking worse and he quickly plasters a smile on his face, makes a grotesque joke about how he won't ever get to see that pussy again, and throws some music on to drown out the thoughts as he finishes cleaning the apartment.

"Forget my fears, ignore all my frets. Just lay your mind on my chest."

And maybe Logan seems to understand because he doesn't ask any more questions, just tidys with him while some trashy music plays behind them, and Wade is overly grateful for that. As much as he doesn't want to think about why he is feeling the way he does, he knows he should. Wade tries to rationalise it- to tell himself that maybe it's because he's tired or because Vanessa told him they couldn't get back together- but he knows those are both lies. It suddenly hits him that he doesn't feel sad or angry because he doesn't feel like that towards her anymore. It hits him hard, that realisation. Vanessa had been the one thing in Wades life he knew would always be there- and in theory- always be the same. They were meant to be soulmates, to match eachothers crazy, but suddenly they weren't and suddenly Wade was okay with that. And, once again, he must of freaked Logan out- this time there are two strong hands on his shoulders trying to ground him- and it works. It takes a minute, and Logan has to talk to him about how to breath, but it works and Wade feels wet streaks down his face. Logan doesn't even say anything before he is wrapping his hands around Wade and pulling him into his chest, holding him as close as he can. After a good few minutes of awkwardly standing there, Wade wraps his shaky arms around Logan's middle and let's everything hit him. Let's the emotions take over, and before he can register it, he's crying into Logan's chest.

"You seem like that kind of guy to play me tonight."

It should feel comforting- and it does, it really really does- but it also makes Wade feel a strangley familiar sensation in his stomach. That warm fuzzy feelings that's a mixture of anxiety and comfort. A feeling he only used to feel with Vanessa. Wade knows he shouldn't feel like this. Really. This is Logan- and he was Wade- and he has only just realized he doesn't even want Vanessa anymore- but it doesn't feel bad. For some reason, the warm fuzzy feeling makes him feel better. Makes him feel safe. Makes him feel like maybe everything will be okay- because for some reason- someone might care.

"I hate what your doing, I hate that it feels so right."

And that makes him feel even worse somehow, and Wade is quickly pulling away from Logan because he can't deal with this right now. Right now he needs to make a bed for Mary Puppins and set the pull out couch up for them and he needs to throw the rest of the pizza away before it gets all gross and he doesn't have time to think about this. Think about why he feels like this.

And honestly, the rest of the song? It's Logan and Wade.

"I think I'm falling for someone else".

After such a long time pining over Vanessa, Wade suddenly becoming aware that he doesn't have feelings for the one person who he thought understood him and that instead he's gaining feelings for someone who truly understands him, and being completely terrified.

"I'm not scared, there's nothing to run from"

That is Logan reassuring Wade. Telling him that, I love you no matter what. I want you. There is nothing I am scared of- not when I'm stood next to you. Reminding him that there is no danger in letting him be loved. That he doesn't have to run.

"You can hold my hand in a crowded place, but just hold me close, and hope that they don't see my face."

Wade feeling insecure being public with his relationship. He hates how he looks- how people stare and gawk at him- and Logan doesn't need that. Logan doesn't need people to look at him and feel pity.

"I can answer your troubles if you let me in."

Logan begging Wade to let him in. To talk to him. To be open about why he feels the way he does- trying to help him as much as he can.

I hope you enjoyed this long ramble, and if yall want the playlist let me know!!

[greensaplinggrace]

Trope Rating Game Rules: how much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 - don’t care either way

+10 -> very enticed

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged.

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

***

Thank you for the tag @infp-obsessing-over-everything!!

Age gap: 8

I usually prefer the tag most when it's referring to a canonical age gap, because when authors make the characters closer in age for contrived reasons I sometimes don't enjoy the fic as much. So it's pretty enticing to see this tag in a lot of fandoms.

Codependency: 10

Sorry fam I love those unhealthy relationship dynamics I love obsession and I love codepency. I unfortunately cannot help this. I hope they die together.

Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: 8

I love possessiveness and obsession when it's a part of a power dynamic that is appealing to me, especially when it's a part of a relationship where the other partner likes it or isn't disturbed by it - and especially especially when it's a vital function of their dynamic to begin with. But I actually don't like it when it's just used for random relationship drama. Jealousy can be pretty hit or miss for me when it's actually a constructed scenario where a partner gets jealous and this causes tension between them.

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): -8

I have a hard time with tropes like this where the characters are often ooc to fit into a dynamic that only really appeals to fandom. I don't really like cookie cutter character stuff like this. It's why I'm not too fond of incorrect quotes stuff either.

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: 10

YESSS!! Forever and always. I adore any relationship with enemies I love it more than anything. Give me that good good tension and angst.

Friends with benefits: 5

This can be a fun one for me, but I generally don't like them unless the characters eventually get together or the dynamic just hits really well and is spectacularly written.

Sex to feelings: 2

Depends on the execution. Like friends with benefits, I'd need it to be really fleshed out and engaging. I don't hate it, but it is kind of a boring dynamic for me.

Fake dating/relationship: 8

Spectacular because of the angst and opportunity for hurt/comfort. Also occasionally shenanigans and hijinks. Not as appealing to me if none of that is involved, however, and the biggest draw for me is whump.

Friends to lovers: 9

I love this one almost as much as I love enemies to lovers. I'm a sucker for a good, solid relationship with a steady dynamic, and I love it when friends to lovers delivers on those really close and comfortable bonds. I'm a sucker for anything that focuses on characters knowing each other at a bone deep level.

Found Family: 6

Found family as a concept is something I really like. Usually when it's tagged in a fic, the fic is written by someone who is obsessed with purity and wholesomeness, though. Which can get a bit uncomfortable. I like hurt/comfort and I like the recovery aspects of these fics a lot, however, so it's a toss-up.

Hurt/Comfort: 10

Utter perfection. Most of the fics I read are whump and hurt/comfort. I will generally avoid any other fics in the fandom until I've devoured every single hurt/comfort fic first. I'm always in the '[character] needs a hug' tag or the 'hurt [character]' tag. I live for it.

Love Triangle: nope

Not unless it turns into polyamory. But then all the stuff that makes love triangles annoying is gone anyways, so it's not remotely the same.

Poly, open relationships: 10

The best aspect of fanfiction aside from hurt/comfort tbh. But I'm really fond of complicated and sprawling and open relationship dynamics. A character accepting their partner needs more is appealing to me.

Mistaken/hidden identity: 8

Generally these serve, because I'm always a sucker for a misunderstanding written well.

Monsterfucking: 10

Yeah I'm a monsterfucker. That is something about me. Although there are fics that even I have to steer clear of.

Pregnancy: -10

The only reason this isn't a nope is because I have read a total of two pregnancy fics where they worked for me, and it was only because the plot was interesting enough and there was potential for hurt/comfort.

Second Chance: -5

It's kind of boring to me. Also I get stressed by betrayal and second chances angst. Which I know seems out of character, but it makes sense in my brain.

Slowburn: 5

Depends on the other parts of the fic. I'm not going to read something just because it's a slowburn, but I don't mind it.

Soulmates: 0

If it's poly it's an 8. If it's not poly it's mneh. I like the unique fics that explore things from an interesting perpsective, but it takes a lot to get me to read a soulmates fic where they're just soulmates.

Tagging: @justawholebunchofcows @thewillowbends @greenglassmountain @jaskierian @glitter50000 @vesperass-anuna @hxntersbxne @finnismyoriginalsin @imruination @mommacomms and anybody else who wants to play!

[heartc0ffin]

Okay, honestly, I may not be familiar with your current active f/os, but I’ve researched them now! And for this ask game, let’s go with Bo Sinclair (maybe because he’s the most attractive out of the bunch, or maybe because the lifestyle he leads is more unconventional so it could be interesting…)

So, questions 8, 9 and 12, if you won’t mind~

– villain-in-love

Thank you for the ask!! 🖤 I had fun answering these questions you picked out, they felt pretty fitting for Bo :]

8. Ideal vacation spot with your f/o? What would you do there?

While I don't see Bo wanting to leave Ambrose because he's got too much responsibility there... (gotta take care of his brothers and hide all those dead bodies wax sculptures), I think my s/i would probably talk about the places she'd love to go with him in hopes of persuading him (it doesn't work, lol). But he'd entertain the idea with her. They'd probably differ on opinions of where to go, though...

I think my s/i would like to go somewhere with good food, art and gothic architecture. So I guess... Somewhere in Italy or Romania? Or maybe somewhere where she can do lots of shopping for cutesy stuff, like Japan. Weather isn't really a huge deal either way for her, it's more about sight-seeing.

Bo honestly wouldn't care so much... But I think he'd choose a place that's a bit on the colder side because he's so used to living in a place that's hot and humid as shit and he's basically a greasy ball of sweat 24/7. Get this man somewhere to cool down, please. Also probably somewhere a bit isolated where it could just be him and my s/i.

9. Has your f/o killed for you, or would they? Have you killed for them, or would you?

Bo definitely has at least once. I think there's probably been an instance where one of his victims mistook my s/i as a threat/in on the whole wax sculpture thing (they're not), and they would have attacked her. So in that case, Bo would have been protecting them in self-defense. And honestly, it's not a big deal for him, he's obviously very used to death. I think he'd just be more annoyed that his plans didn't go more smoothly.

As for my s/i... She hasn't killed, yet. But who knows, maybe one day they might end up protecting Bo as well? I think she'd say she's very against the idea of killing anyone, but if she grew attached to Bo enough over time, and it was under the right circumstances, she'd be capable of doing it. But she'd be a baby about it, lol. If I had to go into detail, I can imagine it being an emergency scenario where Bo can't defend himself for whatever reason, and he'd be instructing her on how to do it while she panics gjidgid.

12. What was your f/os first thought about you?

To be blunt, his first thoughts weren't at all romantic and he thought they'd just be another victim that he could probably charm with his charisma like all the rest. He thought my s/i was an easy target because she's physically not all that strong. But not an idiot or too naïve.

I think over time, he found her more interesting, and might have made excuses with himself to keep her around longer. Bo is a stubborn man, and I don't even think there was a point of time in his head where he was like 'I actually don't want to kill her, I like her too much,' it was a gradual change over time of how he viewed her. I think he just kept putting it off until a day turned into a week, weeks turned to months, then a year... Until my s/i just kind of became another regular resident of Ambrose and was close to him and his brothers.

[theonyxranger]

if youre comfortable/have the time, what would you say r the top three things for a car owner to know about their car?

Okay, I thought about this for a bit because that's not as easy a thing to answer as you might expect, even if everything I'm about to say seems fairly obvious.

1. Learn how to check your fluids.

All non-electric vehicles have a variety of fluids that are used in different ways. If you have access to your owner's manual, you can use that to easily find and check your fluid levels. If not, a quick google search of your year/make/model will give you those answers as they're all vehicle specific. The most important ones are going to be oil, coolant, and brake fluid.

Checking your oil is usually very simple. If you've driven the vehicle within the last ten minutes or so, simply locate the oil dipstick in your engine bay with your engine OFF (usually a bright color, often labeled OIL) and pull it out. Wipe off the excess oil, stick it back it all the way, pull it back out and see where on the dipstick the oil stops. As long as the level is between the minimum and maximum marks on the dipstick, often marked with cross hatching, you do not* need to add any oil. If it looks dark or smells burnt, you may be due for an oil change.

*we'll come back to this.

Brake fluid and coolant are often in clear reservoirs visible in the engine bay. Both typically have MAX and MIN markers on the reservoir and, like your oil, so long as the level is between those two marks you do not need to add any fluid.

However! (This is where we come back to what I said before) if you notice your fluids are low and you ARE concerned, it's never a bad idea to start checking more often to make sure the level isn't dropping. If it is, add some and take your car in for an inspection!

2. Learn how your car is supposed to sound/feel when everything is working as it should

This won't be as long as the last one, I promise.

One of the most common causes for mechanical failure, in my experience, is ignorance. If you don't notice, or know, that your vehicle isn't behaving/braking/turning/sounding the way it's supposed to, why would you have any reason to take it in for inspection? Why would you expect to go for an oil change and find out your brakes are grinding? Or your tires are worn bald? Or your struts are blown?

If you know your car well enough to recognize when something changes, or isn't quite right, you're far more likely to catch it before it becomes a safety hazard (or savings hazard.)

3. Know your vehicle's limits

This one may seem like an odd one, but hear me out:

Your car can only do so much. At the end of the day, its one job is to get you where you need to go safely and reliably, and it's designed to do that in a specific way under a specific range of conditions.

If you take care of it, it'll take care of you. But a 2011 toyota corolla isn't going to do that in 13 inches of snow with a windchill of -5. A 2007 mazda mx5 isn't going to do that in a downpour with 30+ mph winds. A 2014 honda odyssey isn't going to do that in a panic-brake scenario with a uhaul trailer hitch and trailer hooked up and brakes that haven't been replaced in 50,000 miles on 9-year-old factory tires.

I know this was probably a lot more than you were looking for and it definitely wasn't coherent, but it took a solid 40 minutes for me to figure out what to say here and I hope it helps

[faroreswinds]

1.)He did leave something behind. Hilda mentions local soldiers are fighting the bandits. They're just stronger. If you to want visualize it with numbers, he thought a 4 was enough when he needed an 8 because molemen with surprise advanced tech and magic. 2.)Also Claude was using Almyran merchant ships. I doubt he was using any official Almyran troops besides Nader's own personal ones. 3.)What you're suggesting is really risky when it doesn't have to be. What Claude did is a safer move for him even if it meant a little bit more collateral damage. Claude sailed into Fraldarius territory and beelined it for Fhirdiad while establishing a port for his ships in case he needed to escape with his army. If Claude fails, he can run. Your suggestion would leave Claude stranded if he fails. Also it was safer establishing a port in Fraldarius territory than it would be Fhirdiad since Fraldarius territory is a much weaker territory especially since Claude softened them up by using Sreng. 4.)We don't know how small Fodlan is or isn't but the writers have said that Fodlan isn't really a continent, it's just a place that would seem like a continent to the people in a medieval age setting so it could be pretty small tbh and they have "advanced" Almyran ships as well as Wyverns as well as magic that would make people reach locations faster. 5.)Claude didn't waste more lives due to his plan though, he just didn't get his ideal result. Claude made Dimitri weak enough to where he couldn't defend Rhea anymore by the end and TWSITD's involvement actually helped Claude out in the end because it created a series of events where Claude got to take out Rhea before making peace with Dimitri which puts Claude in a much stronger position than where he was when he had Dimitri cornered but Rhea was still around(Chapter 12) and it's more uncertain whether Dimitri would go for Claude's proposals anyway since Rhea is still around and it would mean Dimitri has to go public about severing the ties with the Church versus the secret way he did it. 6.)It's touched on that they care in GW but they're not overly-sympathetic about it like in AG because Dimitri and Claude are two entirely different leaders with different tones to their Hopes stories. Dimitri is overly-empathetic to the point that it's actually an issue and Claude can act cold-hearted if he needs to be and those attitudes are reflected in their House which is why the Black Eagles act the most militaristic. 7.)To be fair, my argument isn't that Claude is a swell guy(I'd argue that you can't be a king and be a swell guy at all). One of his main inspirations is Rajendra of all people. But yes, Claude says himself that he's willing to sacrifice Faerghus to keep Leicester independent and free. That's even his main pitch to Leicester. And if it serves Leicester's interest, Claude is willing to betray Adrestia too. It's smart rather than moral and that's the character that Claude is being sold as hence why Hubert verbally fellates Claude in Houses about how Claude is cold and calculating despite his compassionate front. Also it's irrelevant on how Dimitri takes it because I don't see a scenario where Dimitri wouldn't accept Claude help as an ally against Edelgard considering the situation he's in. 8.) Edelgard's stubborn about destroying the Church and its influence. That's why Azure Moon Dimitri says that the one thing Edelgard is unwilling to accept is the Church's continued existence rather than conquest. I'm not saying she doesn't want conquest but Edelgard can be reasoned with in that regard at least in Hopes hence the peace between Claude & Edelgard as well as Adrestia recognizing the Federation as a nation. 9.)I don't see how Claude putting Dimitri between a rock and a hard place is ruining Dimitri. That's actually interesting. We want characters to be challenged and the alternative decision that Dimitri could've made there would've been OOC since it would mean he would go to protect Rhea and sacrificing Faerghus to Edelgard rather than sacrificing the Church to Claude.

Anon, I'm sorry, but... what exactly is your endgame?

I mean, we are discussing a poorly written story here. So, do you want me to concede and say Claude is in the right? Or that he's not poorly written? What are you hoping for?

I am genuinely asking, because I am not sure.

I cannot continue answering long asks and debate with you unless I understand what you are interested in achieving.

I'm not trying to downplay your ask, or ignore it either. I actually like discussing and debating about stories. I find it a fun pastime.

But I feel like we are going in circles. So, if I can understand what you wish to achieve, I can answer your asks with more directed purpose. It is only fair to you, imo, if I can understand what you want.

If you only wish to debate and discuss, I will debate and discuss till my fingers fall off. I just want to get a sense of your goal.

I hope I'm not coming off as rude, because I am not trying to be. I can get paranoid about that sometimes.

[stepswowdsen]

【KagePro】 KuroEne AU: Shintaro reacts to KuroEne's relationship + Misc Rambles

KuroEne AU scenario where Kuroha/Saeru pretends to join the Mekakushi Dan, while getting intimate with Ene. Shintaro gets worried for Ene's sake as her friend.

Misc rambles as well

Been forgetting to post here since I've been busy with school stuff so I have QUITE the backlog

I'll be queueing posts on my discussion rambles with Feila about my KuroEne AU here

Btw I wanna draw Kuroha/Saeru in traditional clothes at some point...

Feila chats with me about KuroEne everyday. Ty~ It's super fun to chat about them :)

So whenever I don't have stuff prepared to post in advance, I just post our rambles since it's quick & easy

My wife who hides her "bad" feelings and avoids confronting her more honest feelings and plays into the bright peppy cheerful exterior to cheer up the people around her in hopes of becoming their friend/joy x Evil insane homosexual dude :)

On the KuroEne grind to fuel my gay ass' shenanigans 🤸🎉

Previous Posts

You can read my previous posts for context if you need it.

I think these ones have the context for a scenario where Shintaro reacts to their relationship

THE EMBED IS KILLING ME ADKSKLDKLSDKLKLS 😭

Discussion Rambles with Feila (9/10/2024)

I'm also gonna put the date I had these rambles with Feila just to keep track of which ones I haven't posted

Me: I showed my friends your KuroEne meme (and the one I remade) and it got a good laugh out of them /pos

F: Good to know my shitty humor can entertain y'all 🫶

F: Bro 😭 You own the KuroEne hashtag (on Tumblr), congrats

Me: YEAH it's just 4 pages of my posts LMAO. Mainly cuz I’ve just been transferring the rambles from my Notion docs (that I mainly post on Insta) to Tumblr too, just as an archive if anyone wants.

...

I was debating to write descriptions of my top fave ships here but it got too long so I think it's best to put that in a different post.

I don't mind since I have a tendency to settle into niche popular ships (ie. LimGuda) and rare pairs (ie. XanLena, IdaTatsu, JuAli, KuroEne)

And two of these ships are OC ships (ie. XanLena, IdaTatsu)

XanLena is my Canon/OC ship with Xanxus and my KHR OC Selena (my beloved wife <3)

The WATGBS AU version of IdaTatsu is basically like an OC ship cuz it hinges entirely off my and my friends' writing. Charas yoinked from canon but rewritten/revamped entirely to make our own OC lore.

KuroEne perfectly aligns with my chara/ship tastes. I love ships that are deadly and passionate :)

Those are my fave kind of ships ^^

Red flag meow meow mf x Green flag chara with a brighter disposition

Morally questionable (morally bankrupt) x morally agreeable!

I love meow meow mf x empathetic, loving ball of sunshine and Sun/Moon and Light/Darkness ship tropes. The ultimate sen-core ship formula.

(See: Everything I listed above)

...

With my interests I usually have a main ship (possibly 1 - 3 main ships) that are my main focus (who I'm mainly obsessed with), and then a bunch of multiships on the side (secondary focus for me)

So for me that'd be KuroEne (+ KonoEne and HaruTaka), and then my other ships and multiships. Since I'm a 9/6 main/enthusiast

As I said, as long as the ship isn't boring, painfully mid, and/or bland, I am open to multiships of my faves.

I tend to ship my top fave charas together as long as they have an interesting dynamic.

KuroEne are my top 2s so that's a given for me

The wifey and meow meow mf bias is so obviously present...

The KuroEne ship just shows that my character/ship tastes are as ancient as time LMFAO

Also I'm just gonna say that I rank my faves harshly. Like I'm either normal about you or I'm not

KuroEne AU

F: Question question! On whose device did Kuroha talk to Ene?

(Before building the android body ofc)

Me: OOO good question. I imagine he visited the general vicinity she was in and Ene who was probably going through public spaces' cyber worlds, sees him and ends up jumping from electronic devices to chase after him in the city. Because he looks like Konoha and she can't afford to have the opportunity escape her. So, just as he intended, Kuroha sets up a meeting on purpose by letting Ene follow him to a secluded place where they can talk, just the two of them.

Ene: (I swear he went this way...?)

F: Oooohhhhh. Iirc, Ene can hop onto any devices that as a Wi-fi connection right?

Me: Yeahhh I think so! So I imagined she just jumps to electronic devices/screens to follow him while he heads to a secluded place. After their initial meeting, he has her transfer into his phone. (If he has the resources to have an entire underground lab built, then he can get a phone)

F: I see. I just thought you were gonna pull out the "He stole Taro's phone" type of stuff.

Me: Oh yeah that could also work as well. Like Shintaro accidentally drops it and Saeru swipes it. Once he's done meeting with Ene, he gives it back to the owner.

F: Now I'm just imagining the whole Dan witnessing their flirting sessions—

Yeah creative thinking is my passion :D

Me: Ene who easily gets embarrassed and flustered by Kuroha's teasing 🥰💞

Shintaro: (I've never seen her look this cutesy and shy before!)

F: This makes me wanna write your AU but in Shintaro's perspective wwww

I have a bud that is heavily similar to Shintaro I’ll just ask him on what he'd do in some situations

Scary enough he's actually similar to Shintaro. Shut-in (semi due to school), academically smart, and only has a few friends

Me: OHHH that's so cool! Omg real life Shintaro... Wish him the best though

...

F: This makes me wanna write your KuroEne AU but in Shintaro's perspective wwww

Me: Honestly writing about MekaDan members' reactions to KuroEne's relationship is so interesting

F: But we're talking about Shin specifically. Like the others are probably just neutral, but Shin??? The person who knows Ene the most?? Yeah he's gonna have mixed feelings.

Me: Yeah… Shintaro's POV in a KuroEne AU where Kuroha makes himself known to the MekaDan first, is actually really interesting cuz he's friends with Ene, and was apart of and knew the rest of the Yuukei Quartet (Ayano, Haruka, Takane) before

F: This is his feelings all in order

...

Me: Right? Also Kano perhaps, since in MCA, he remembers Haruka

F: OH YEAH. He took the form of Ayano and met the entire quartet. And he's the most invested in that story book, he even remembers all the abilities

Me: Kano is also wary of the Clearing Snake as well but I like the idea of him suspecting Kuroha/Saeru but not being able to act on it until it's too late. Since Kuroha uses the excuse that he's Awakening Eyes

Me: Yeah like everyone else would just welcome him (Kuroha) as a new member since they aren’t close with Ene (don’t know her well) unlike Shintaro. And they're not too overly concerned with their relationship. But Shintaro gets worried for Ene as her friend

F: Wait, when did he join August 13th? August 14th?

Me: Honestly forget when Shintaro joined the MekaDan. As for Kuroha/Saeru, I think events in my AU happen prior to August 15th to allow more time for chara interactions in general. Imo he spends 1 - 2 years with Ene to maximize the length of the “game” as much as possible

F: Shin joined on the same day as Ene that's for all I know

...

F: Lowkey wanna yap about my domestic KuroEne AU to you

Me: OOO I'd be down to listen!

F: So in this AU Saeru basically went "Y'know what? I'll just fuck around for a few more years with the Dan instead of killing them this year, then I'll reset."

And I feel like this is unrealistic but he learns human emotions 🤯 learning empathy, sympathy, passion, etc. Holy shit. Idk how to develop relationships properly so I just go "He fell for her, she fell back for him, they’re in a relationship, wowza" on the KuroEne part

Then 2 years later, WOO THEY GOT MARRIED 💐💐💐🎉🎉🎉

Then he bought a house for the both of them, because they agreed on starting a family hooray. That's all for now at least

Me: OOOH I see. They deserve lighthearted fluffy fanon AUs where they can just be cute together

Reminds me of KagePro EA/JP artists' fanon KuroEne takes from back then, where Kuroha acts more like a grumpy house cat around the MekaDan

I have them translated, but I'm not sure if I should post it cuz they're web-doujins from Pixiv that I saved 10 years ago back when I was a kid (that are now deleted)

I feel like there's a gray area for translating old doujinshi with artists who deleted their socials/works, so I'm not sure...

F: PERFECT DEPICTION TOO

Free pet cat :D

...

Me: Cuz Fanon Kuroha is much softer and tamer which is cute. Reminds me of Judar (Magi) in that aspect... Neutralized threat that runs around like a gremlin.

Works well with domestic AU scenarios. Reminds me of one of KagePro EA/JP artists' KuroEne comics from back then

F: Grumpy cat that's possessive over 1 person

Me: Possessiveness in ships is so hot 🥰 The idea of the MekaDan having Kuroha lying around as a lazy bum grumpy snek cat is so funny to me.

I remember this one EA/JP artist from back then. Their fanon verse KuroEne takes usually had a more flirty and assertive Ene as well. Which is also fun to see. Cuz I feel like if it was canon verse Ene she'd get mega embarrassed by his teasing and flirting

The flirty aspect doesn't suit her (Ene) imo but I do love Ene being more assertive in the ship

F: It really is. I depict him as someone who is 50/50 responsible

But this guy here is just "I just wanna get laid and be done with it"

F: FEMDOM. Let his ass be submissive for once

Me: Femdom is great. He'd be into that

Me: RIGHT LMAO

...

Me:

(Shitpost)

Kuroha: Hmmm… Feel like eating pussy for breakfast.

Me: I'd have fanon Kuroha help with the MekaDan’s cooking (after being persuaded). Bet this guy would just lie around like a cat who's sun bathing in the house lazing about on its cat tower

F: That will most likely be canon if he wasn't a villain tbh

Me: Yeah I agree. Grumpy cat...

F: Just, the lazy cat of the group that's somehow more powerful than the rest

Me: It'd be funny if in my KuroEne AU, he initially doesn't help with chores at all, but the other MekaDan members encourage him to help out, and Ene wants to see him wearing an apron cuz it'd be cute and funny, so then he obliges

F: Go malewife go malewife go

Me: Ok Mr. Encyclopedia brain

Put that knowledge to good use!!! Cook something for your wife why don't ya

Me: Kuroha's definitely not as irresponsible as someone like Idate but it'd be funny if he was still an unhinged chaotic cat. Like the whole thing of “Cat lovingly brings back a dead mouse for you”

Reminds me of IdaTatsu (WATGBS AU)

IdaTatsu scenario in my head

Idate: I brought dinner for you! (^-^)

Idate: (Brings a whole ass dead moose)

Tatsumiya: (???)

F: Hey Tatsu, at least it's not sharks. Fuck it. COOK SAL

Me: Sal goes into the fire wheee! My friends and I just yeeted him out of our AU and replaced him with our OCs which is so funny

Feila's posts

F: Hi

Me: KUROENE KISS YAYYYY

Shintaro's expression in the last panel ASDFGHJJKLL

F: ON THE SOFA 😨

Me:

Saeru who gives no fucks whether they're seen: 👍

Ene: 🧍

Me: She probably made him promise to keep their relationship more of a secret

F: Well... they tried

And if truths got out just reset /j

F: LMAO

F: Oh God, imagine the embarrassment 😭

Me: Ene probably gets really embarrassed but Saeru just tells her it's not something to worry about much

F: He probably laughs it off while Ene is flustered about being discovered

Me: YEA like Saeru just starts laughing

F: Side note, I was fighting back urges to draw Ene's zipper being lowered, my headmates managed to stop me at least

Me: That sounds like something I would draw.

Me: Reminds me I had this comic idea where Shintaro spots them (like through a small gap in the door)

He approaches the door but backs away when he sees it and doesn't interrupt them

(Kagerou Daze Manga: Ch. 9)

Shintaro: (I, Kisaragi Shintaro, 18 years old... have stumbled on something I shouldn't have.)

Shintaro: (BUT HOW IS IT THAT I'M STILL AN 18 YEAR OLD VIRGIN???)

And then he sees the glimpse of KuroEne kissing through the open gap in the door

F: Okay KuroEne must be really getting onto it if they didn't hear the door creak or the Dan just have a very fancy soundproof door

Also dude is having a monologue about this whole thing. I feel him

...

Me: OH yeah like Kuroha/Saeru seems to be able to sniff people's scents? Like a snake has a much better sense of smell than a human. Iirc they flick their tongues to collect chemicals in the air. He probably noticed Shintaro enter the floor but didn't care

F: He wants to show off his gf ig

Whatever floats his boat tbh

Me: “Shintaro is having a whole monologue about this”

Boy at 18 discovers his friend fucking shady guy!

F: This would be a funny title for a Steam game

KuroEne Shitpost

F: I love you, inspect element

Me: LMAOOO

F: Do you think he fell for it?

(Sent this to a friend who hasn't read the KagePro manga before and I'm trying to convince him to read it)

(Original idea/shitpost was made by Feila, I then remade it by editing it onto the high-res JP scans. Teamwork!)

Me: LMFAOOO

I’M CRYING HELPPPPPPP 😭😂

Similar enough to fool people!

S: 😭

F: HE STILL WON'T READ IT

Me: Unfortunate…

Me: KuroEne fucking canon

F: So... is the KuroEne /fucking/ canon or is the /KuroEne fucking/ canon?

Me: Both

F: I agree (We're on high copium)

Me: Canon in my heart that's all that matters

Don’t need my ships to be canon to be king 👑

F: If they are on the same panel they are shippable

Source: (X)

I was delusional enough to slide into Cass' DMs and go "OMG KUROHA AND ENE ON THE SAME PANEL??? "

Me: OMG I feel like I remember this one. They're also on the same panel in the KagePro design poll comics

F: We won KuroEne nation

Also. Winter anthology illust.

Me: OHHH YEAH cute Santa Ene

F: That's our only close to canon content

Ene looks out of place in that art, why did the artist draw her in tho

Me: Makes me wonder... Kuroha and Azami makes sense since they're Master and Servant. Anyways, ty Osora for my life

F: Like Azami and Saeru they fit since they both are aware of each others' existence.

Exactly. Now why is Ene added? Marriage blessing, final answer—

Edited Version

Me:

Ene at her weird bf: 🧍

F:

Ene: Ugh why is he like this...

Ene: (Proceeds to give him a goodnight kiss)

Me: Ene huffs and gives him a kiss anyways

Me: You could do things with that tongue, man!

F: And those fingers too (and I'm not talking about carnival games)

Me: KuroEne Design Poll outfits <3

Love how he's just noted as "Outer Science Person"

Me: In their Design Poll outfits... They both have similar poses, I see...

F: Why did they give him a tit window tho

For Ene to kiss him there? Damn kinky

Me: IKR it's so funny. Everyone else is wearing western style formal clothes (suit and dress), but Kuroha's outfit looks like changshan (male version of the cheongsam/qipao)

F: YEAH

Or is it to fit the timeline he was born in (this mf is ancient, just a reminder)

Me: Oh frick I just realized there's an accidental brush stroke from me on Kuroha in this (oops) I'll resend it

F: Or is it to fit the timeline he was born in (this mf is ancient, just a reminder)

...

F: Oh a handsome man

Me: HONESTLY THE ONLY THING THAT'S FUNNY ABOUT THE MR2 SAERU DESIGN TO ME IS THE CROP TOP

LIKE I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE IT WAS A CROP TOP WHDSHDHS I THOUGHT IT WAS A DIFFERENT COLOUR AT THE TOP AND APART OF THE SAME SHIRT

F: LET HIM BE SLUTTY

Me: Like I love everything about Kuroha/Saeru’s MR2 design EXCEPT FOR THE CROP TOP… Like I love the bloody sash, scales, red gradient limbs, and scorpion tail braids in the back that look like Judar’s

Me: So yeah I'd love to see MR2 Saeru wearing more traditional clothes

Makes me want to draw KuroEne in matching traditional clothes...

F: JIN LOVES MAKING GAY CHARACTERS

...

F: Also uh aside from a hardcore KuroEne makeout session, I drew them bonding. Cuz they deserve a happy ending

F: Get married soon KuroEne

Me: WAHHH SO CUTE I LOVE THEM

Ene should braid MR2 Saeru's hair

F: She definitely plays around with it

I mean, having a spouse, with long hair??? Hell yeah

Me: I'm their Marriage Officiant

F: Dibs on flower girl!

F: Ene is aware of him using Awakening Eyes in this AU, they're open about their eye abilities

Me: OHHH I see! It'd be so cute to imagine Ene playing with his hair Like putting it into twintails and braids and such

F: They both play with each other's hair

Mfs are handsy over here

...

Me: I still love that casual clothes Ene with her hair in buns. It's so cute

F: My fav ship dynamic (or smth)

Me: Reminds me I still need to draw KuroEne with MR2 Saeru

F: Cass would always joke about how Ene is a pretty women dating Saeru, a man who she considers hideous

Me: WASDSSDHD

I like insane men. I study them like hamsters.

F: Tag that ship

F: Their insanity attracts me

...

F: I find MR2 Saeru more attractive /guilty

Me: I adore both Kuroha’s usual one and MR2 design! I love his black and gold aesthetic, and I also love black and red. I prefer the clothing design of the usual one. Only thing is that I find MR2 Saeru’s crop top hysterical to me. Not in a bad way. I didn’t even know it was a crop top, I’d prefer if it was just a normal shirt tbh. Also I wanna see MR2 Saeru wear traditional esque clothes like Azami

F: If they can kill me, I'll like them. That's how I summarize my taste in fictional men

Me: Same for me ^^ I like murderous cat cots

Me: Most fugly man I've ever seen would be a dude in a Gothic shoujo I read. Here. Ugly.

F: I think I should stay curious— I don’t want to know this guy’s crime list.

Me: Though for me I love Kuroha/Saeru sm but I've never been a fan of the manga art style. If it was drawn in another style like Sidu’s or Sayuki's everyone would look way hotter/cuter. That's why I wanna see Sidu draw MR2 Kuroha/Saeru or her concept art sketches. Cuz Sidu designed MR2 Kuroha/Saeru's form.

F: Mahiro's artstyle is perfect for the extra feeling of dread but they all look twinkified, but I'm okay with it. IMAGINE HOW HANDSOME HE'D BE [IN SIDU’S ART STYLE] OMFG

Me: Yeah it's like... wish we got a more experienced artist tbh cuz I'm not big on the style and how undynamic the art is. But I appreciate that we got the manga and that it exists.

F: I mean, we got Nirvana which is in Sayuki's style

F: I kinda wanna see MR2 Kuroha in Wannyanpuu's style. I'd love the silly baby-ish look

Me: Kuroha's design reminds me of Judar (both designs).

Me: Black/white themed insane sadistic and bloodthirsty meow meow mf men with an ego are my favourite masc chara type ^^

It's so funny like my Meow Meow Mf pipeline went from Kuroha (2013) to Judar (2022).

Love both.

Kuroha's hair kinda looks like Judar's in normal form, and then his MR2 version has braids that kinda look like Judar's

F: You like black-haired men with the crime list that can reach the top of Mt. Everest basically?

Me: Yeah. It's so funny. My entire top meow meow mfs list is this. 100% representative of my tastes

...

Me: I still love that casual clothes Ene with her hair in buns. It's so cute. Reminds me I still need to draw KuroEne with MR2 Saeru

F: My fav ship dynamic (or something).

Tag that ship: Wow! This Literal Goddess is dating some guy named Steve! (Meme)

F: My friend Cass would always joke about how Ene is a pretty woman dating Saeru, a man who she considers hideous

Me: WASDSSDHD??? To each their own tastes.

Personally, l love insane men. I study them like hamsters. If the dude is too normal, I'm not very interested. I want freaks here

Me: Y'all haven't seen B*ck from Requiem of the R*se King if you think Saeru's ugly

Search him up if you're curious Ig I don't want to put Buckiebitch's ugly ass here. Especially not on my KuroEne posts

He's literally the only KagePro man (other than Konoha and Haruka) that doesn't look basic af to me. I'm not even into fictional men but Kuroha and Konoha are the hottest/most attractive KagePro men, I'm dying on this hill.

Most of the MekaDan members are teens. Kuroha and Konoha are also the only adult-age ikemen type charas and I generally prefer adult charas and/or casts cuz it's more comfortable for me. Just a personal preference.

Imo the clothing designs of KagePro charas are good, like they’re very varied in clothes and shapes, but the designs of most of the dudes are boring to me. THE GIRLS THO??? AYYYYY 🎉 THEIR DESIGNS ARE MUCH MORE VARIED TOO

Y'all have NOT seen B*ck from Requiem of the R*se King if you think Kuroha is ugly. Kuroha 100000000x hotter than BUCK. B*ck should get tf out of here

Have you seen B*CK??? Y'all have NOT seen Suckingham Phallus if you think that

B*ryl (FGO) from LB6 is fugly, cheaply written, and a gross misogynistic creep, but still better written than B*ck

Buck has black hair and yellow eyes. This is in fact slander, because only my beloved Kuroha/Saeru (KagePro) and Tao Ren (SK) deserves black hair and pretty yellow tsurime eyes!!! Also, for starters, Kuroha/Saeru is actually interesting as a villain, unlike Buck. Lmao. He's also 10000x hotter as well

My hot take would be that every KagePro guy except Kuroha, Konoha, and Haruka looks basic to me

F: BUT SETO... Pls he is a cutie 😭

Me: Like. All KagePro guys have such similar hairstyles, like you could hardly tell them apart if it weren't for their hoodies. It's all round hair with slightly curved spikes. Every single one. Other than the Haruka lookalike trio, Kano's design differentiates more cuz of the short cut bangs

F: Sadly true... Seto and Shin looked a bit too similar

Me: Like with Kuroha and Konoha, at least there's an excuse cuz it's Haruka's body. They look similar on purpose. With everyone else nah there’s no reason why their hair styles should be so similar

F: Kuroha is creative enough to create his own form too lol

"BUT SETO..."

Me: He's cute but I get bored by masc charas who are too normal 😔

F: Same, I moved on from SetoMary to KonoEne too quickly

Me: It makes sense for me since 9/6 ships like KonoEne and KuroEne have more conflict and tension in their r/s, compared to other ships. Kuroha’s the fruitiest man in KagePro, so there’s my bias 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

I do love ShinAya and SetoMary but they're more secondary for me. As I said, I favour ships that are deadly and passionate.

F: We got angsty, and angsty but sexy, then we have HaruTaka—

F: KonoEne is the most tragic one then 😭

Me: HaruTaka is also fluffy and angsty. KuroEne would be the most tragic 9/6 ship for fanon ships. Technically, KuroEne is the most tragic one, in that, y'know, he kills her friends.

F: Off-topic and 9 PM thoughts

I wonder how these little things react to witnessing Saeru fucking Ene

Me: LMAOOO 😭

Kuroha scoots over to Ene on the bed and Ene just pouts at him like, "Can't you send away your snakes when we do it???" So then Kuroha obliges to her request. I imagine he would send them away before they start, anyways, but it's just funny to imagine and think about.

Me: Just want to add to this scenario but I just imagined Ene sitting on the bed, and Kuroha getting on top of the bed to sit right in front of her. Ene just narrows her eyes at him and tilts her head with a confused expression when she spots all the snakes still sitting on his shoulders and wrapped around his body. Then she makes a face like, “Huh? Why do you have so many snakes on you???” Σ(°ロ°)

Honestly it reminds me of Sidu’s Outer Science Kuroha illust in her .dsd/V artbook, where he’s sitting smirking while surrounded by morbillion snakes. He seems to be able to make these little snakes obey him. Or they just flock to him. She’s in the heart of the snake’s nest. The den of the beast.

When Ene sees all the snakes on him, she just goes like, “Can’t you send them away before we do it?” And Kuroha just goes like, “Don’t worry, little bunny, I was just getting to that. They’ll just get in the way, anyways.” And he lets them slither off elsewhere. And then he asks, “There. Is that better?”

Ene breathes a sigh of relief and goes like, “That’s much better!” She crosses her arms and huffs in tsundere fashion, “I’m not particularly a fan of snakes…” And Kuroha just laughs. Ene goes like, “What’s so funny?” And Kuroha’s just like, “Oh, plenty. Another bold faced lie. How amusing.”

“I mean… You know who I am. I’m the Snake of Clearing Eyes. And Konoha is the Snake of Awakening Eyes. Considering your infatuation, and the fact that you’re doing this with me… we both know that isn’t true. You could keep up that front and fool Konoha with it, but not me. Wouldn’t it be better if you were more honest? I’m just telling you this in advance for the long run.”

Honestly, Kuroha’s whole scheme in my KuroEne AU reminds me of Kama trying to corrupt Ritsuka (FGO) and “make them fall into the flames of depravity (Kama’s own flames)” by tempting them with carnal pleasures and the promises to be able to fulfill any of their desires. Kama wanted to make Ritsuka theirs and give them infinite love in order to sate them completely and utterly.

He then says, “I understand you’re feeling worried, dear rabbit, but… I’ll be sure to make this pleasurable for you. Tell me what your desires are.” (^-^)

Before he leans in to kiss her, he says, “When you fall into the abyss, I'll be there to catch you.”

The abyss could refer to his end goal plan → Him killing everyone at the end of a Route on August 15th, and the Kagerou Daze swallowing them.

Admittedly, I also like to think of KuroEne art concepts where Kuroha and Ene dance together in a ballroom, and one of his snakes wraps around her leggy. That would be a hot art concept ngl

...

Me: ASDFGHJLKL I just found this in my notes

Dawg WHY do KagePro guys have such similar hairstyles to each other??? Every single dude has like a short round haircut with some round hair spikes. Like it's mainly their clothes that make their shape language more varied cuz without their hoodies/jackets they'd look SO similar to each other if you just blacked them out with silhouettes. Like the character that differentiates the most is Kano due to the short cut bangs. At least with Haruka, Konoha, and Kuroha, it makes sense since it's Haruka's body. Kuroha and Konoha are the hottest KagePro men fr

F: Oh right. MAKE SETO A BIT MORE BUFF TOO PLS

Me: Seto should be a bit more muscular with tanner skin tbh

With Haruka/Konoha/Kuroha, it makes sense but other than them, I'm not a fan of how every single KagePro chara is pasty white. We need more varied skin tones + undertones in the cast

Me: Oh yeah I forgot if he had a job where he carries stuff or something. Like KagePro charas’ clothing designs are fun and interesting but they all got really similar hair styles to each other

F: The men sure aren't safe. Why only the girlies get the variety of coloured hair

F: Kuroha is creative enough to create his own form too lol (-> MR2 Saeru)

Me: So true! Kuroha and Konoha are the hottest KagePro guys to me. And Haruka is cute ^^

F: Saeru won the Vocaloid Sexy Synth (Ene) too, so theory proven.

Me:

KuroEne: Evil snake demon makes cyber girl diva (Ene) his gf (/lh) (/j) 🖤💙

Me: MAMORU MIYANO IS SUCH A PERFECT VA FOR HIM... We needed more screentime of him. It’s so disappointing how Kuroha probably shows up for less than 5 min total. Shaft's art style is so ugly.

F: HIS VOICE RANGE IS CRAZY THO

F: Madoka Magica was peak wtf happened

Me: MCA should've been at least 24 episodes. No way you can fit like 12 - 14 charas’ stories adequately in only 12 episodes. Cuz it has to cover the stories of the MekaDan + secondary charas

F: It was planned to be 24 episodes... UNTIL THWYVRUSHED ITM SJHDKSJDJA?!?#*(#;# WE LOST

[01turnkill]

2024 Media Post Time - Master

9. Baby Reindeer

One of my friends recommended this to me and then I also discovered somewhere that it's a true story so I wanted to know what it was like. I don't really care about the Real Life side of it and the speculation but maybe I'm interested in the moral implications about that. Ended up watching it in a few days since thankfully it's not one of those live action shows where the episodes are a movie and it's just a lot to get through.

The story is our main character Donny getting hurt by people he also came to trust but not reaching out to the people that care because he knows it will hurt them too. Not being able to manage and understand the emotions of the women in his life and losing hope in himself and his dreams and career.

I will say first that yeah it's very realistic but that also makes it unsubtle. I don't see much to read into and I'm not sure it should be read into seeing as it's a true story. The lines are all filled. I'm sure there's dramatisation and adaptation here and there but it's very realistic, in fact the parts that I feel are dramatised are the parts that I think are less realistic- the depth of the stalking for one. There's experiences to know about and understand and it's very interesting to see a story like this told by a victim.

The way it's told isn't too blunt even though it's unsubtle which I think is a good thing. I think it was done well. It's not just chronological, it skips over the unimportant things, segments of direct narration by Donny. The colours present scenarios and feelings really well. Darrien is warm coloured even after what he does. Martha is cold coloured. Blue and dark. Even when Donny feels fondly of her, she's cold coloured. Even after what Darrien does to Donny, he remembers how he made him feel when things were better. Golden hope.

I like the way Darrien is presented. He obviously means a lot to Donny before and after he comes to abuse him. He isn't presented with much definition about his character and demeanour and likes and dislikes, dreamlike like that. Not made sympathetic whatsoever. And it's because I think for Donny he is too good to be true... and there's the drugs. Barely ever sober around him enough to realise what is or isn't happening. Can't see him for what he is. Gets a clue about the abuse but Darrien still hasn't delivered on the promise that keeps Donny hopeful. Misses every warning sign, the people in his life that care telling him it's not right. When he realises they were right to be concerned he knows he's let them down.

Him being both the main character and also the writer, you understand that his experience is obviously centered around himself. Amplified by him being a victim, facing that self isolation and the fault of toxic masculinity. These are also the reasons I felt he was very emotionally unintelligent. It wasn't irritating exaaactly... It made sense. To understand yourself and especially as a man takes a lot of blood. Blood all over.

Speaking of obsessions, this is another piece of media dealing with them. Obsessed with someone so hard that the rest of your life can be discarded. Your own body and life is disposable in the face of them and what they mean to you. Being obsessed with someone being obsessed with you. Because they love you and every part of you and what you do and you don't have to give them anything in return. Keeping someone around because their life is worse than yours and they elevate you.

As a show it's very good. Raw and bleak and the story is interesting. I don't think it will be too impactful on me but I will take some of the story telling and intricacies to heart. Maybe I could say more.

[steal-this-idea]

Still trying to figure out if 6 would be considered “cruelty to animals”

Like, is this a good extra-long life for the animal (stays energetic and healthy) or the “too little butter spread over too much bread” Tithonic type extra-long life?

Even number 8. Is that just two memories *poof* they’re gone? Like, do you forget, say, the person who broke your heart and get left with a bunch of nonsensical memories of you pining for this now abstraction (?), of you being terribly sad/mad over this...someone (?). Do you realize you have a hole (two, in fact) in your mind and get driven mad by your inability to remember a detail or two (a name, a face...a reason)? Like why are so many of my memories now orbiting this black hole of memory? Do I also remember asking to forget...but that last detail is missing?

...or is it more Tolkien-esque, let’s say, and it takes other memories associated with it as well, perhaps leaving a lot of gaps in your memory you either can’t explain or just quickly move on from?

5. Meet your soulmate feels too much like a jerk genie scenario. Number 5 is clearly a trap, haha. Same with 7′s, “become famous”

Hell, I even feel like number 1′s mastering of three skills will just leave me feeling a constant sense of Imposter Syndrome

I feel like number 2 is relying too much on assumption to be safe. I’m assuming “negative consequences” like cholesterol build-up and osteoporosis but could it not just as well include “positive consequences” like nutritional benefits, satiation, or even enjoying how food tastes?

[nikos-oneshots]

Can i request sunny x reader falling off the bed? Its fine if you dont want to btw!!

Sunny x Reader Falling out of Bed.

Warnings: Blood/Bleeding Noses

Word Count: 0.5k

Pronouns: Second Person \ You/Your

Notes: Thank you for requesting! Sorry if this is a little short!

The scenario depends on who specifically is falling out.

Sunny used to fall out of bed often and had those bed railings as a kid, that's one of the reasons why he liked to climb into Mari's bed, to keep him from falling out.

It has gotten better with time, but he still does it from time to time. He refuses to put up the railings again since it doesn't happen that often anymore, maybe once or twice a month?

Sunny often sleeps on his side, so he usually rolls out onto his back or his face. Either isn't fun.

If he rolls out onto his back, it will hurt for a little while. He had a lot less trouble falling back asleep if he fell onto his back than on his face. If it hurt too much, he would take one of the heating pads that were in one of the closets.

If he rolls out onto his face, well that's a whole other problem. 9 times out of 10 he would wake up with a bleeding nose. He used to have an ice pack for it but lost it.

You never really fell out of bed, it happened maybe once in your childhood? Sunny knew this and was secretly a little jealous.

You were having a sleepover with Sunny at your place, you two were asleep, cuddling. It seems like he was holding you for dear life.

Did I mention that Sunny moves around a lot in his sleep? He also finds it comfortable to sleep in weird positions. Like he would be sideways, his foot on the pillow, his arm off the bed. He only started doing this recently.

Anyways, I hope you know where this is going.

You both were sleeping on your sides, Sunny had his foot up against your back. Something in his dream caused him to move and whoops! Kicked you off the bed.

You landed face first with an "OW!" that immediately woke Sunny up. He looked over the edge of the bed and was confused since you said you never fall off the bed. He didn't even realize that he kicked you.

He went down to help you, it seemed like you had a rough fall. He made sure that you weren't hurt too bad and then helped you back onto the bed. He didn't say anything to you except an "Are you okay?" And a "Are you sure?"

He wasn't one to brag about it, that was something Kel would do, not him. He probably would take extra precautions to make sure you didn't fall out again like trying not to take up to much space

After your good nights, Sunny made sure to hold you extra tight that night just in case you fell out again, unknowing to him that he kicked you out.

If Sunny is the one falling out, like said before, it would depend if he fell on his face or his back.

You helped him with his nosebleeds, you taught him a few tricks from your childhood to make them stop quicker. The average time that it would stop would be around 15-20 minutes, so you just sat there and comforted him since he didn't like getting nosebleeds.

You would help him with his back, gentle rubbing, getting a heating pad or if it wasn't too rough of a fall, you two would go back to bed.

But every time one of you fell out of bed, the other would hold tighter in hopes of that never happening again.

Thank you so much for reading! I've been trying to get requests done and I only have 2 more, but I also have a part 2 to finish. I've also been working on that Niko Oneshot thing and instead of 2, it might have 3-4 parts, trying to split up the areas. I hope you all have a great day/night and happy pride!

Lots of Love -Niko🥞

[polyghostfacehours]

Imagining scenario w a reader that's just obsessed w stu.. and are very easily manipulated by him. They happily do whatever billy says only because stu wants them to.

Love this scenario babe! This has hints of polyamory, but it's definitely still you and Stu mainly.

TW: NSFW. Manipulation. Abusive Relationship Dynamics. Murder. Dubious Consent.

---

Stu w/ an Easily Manipulated, Obsessed Reader:

So, Stu notices you fawning over him. He's an observant kinda guy. But it's Billy that starts seeing how whipped you are for Stu.

Stu doesn't believe Billy at first, thinks he's overestimating how much you like Stu. So Billy puts it to the test.

He gets Stu to ask you to do more and more morally questionable things. Shoplifting, spreading rumors, getting a fake gun license, etc etc. And you do all of these without question.

Stu is equal parts floored and estatic. Someone is loyal to him like that? He never thought he'd be on the receiving end of such obsessive devotion and it puts him on Cloud 9.

Billy is also pretty damn happy. Now he has another person he can rope into his murder plots.

Stu's "tests" get more and more extreme, until the day comes where they want to see how you handle blood. Up to this point, you'd been doing anything Stu asks of you.

In order to get you into their plots, the have to implicate you too. So you choose the target to kill. But they don't mention that you're going to be killing the guy. Just teaching him a lesson.

You're reluctant, but when Stu gives you those puppy eyes and Billy whispers about all the terrible things that guy has done to other people, you fold.

Billy lies, obviously, about how bad this guy is. Makes shit up so that you feel justified in going ham.

You get angry, really fucked up as you cut the guy a little too deep. And then deeper. All of the shit you "know" he's done has you pissed. And Billy and Stu encourage you as they hold him down.

When it's said and done, you're in. And Stu tells you he loves you.

And this isn't true (yet, or maybe ever), but Billy told him to say it to solidify your loyalty.

And you couldn't be happier. Your relationship with Stu begins and the fact you are now a murderer buzzes in the back of your mind, but is easily ignorable when his arms are wrapped around you.

Stu, of course, takes full advantage of this. The sex is wild, and he convinces you to try everything he's into. If you don't want to, he gets pouty, and you can't help but do as he asks.

And Billy Billy Billy. Of course, he also takes advantage of this. Tells Stu to ask you to have sex with him too. You're shocked at first, but eventually Stu wears you down and you start being passed between the two. Billy's happy, because now he has a plaything too.

Sometimes, threesomes happen and you get a first taste on how deep their relationship goes.

Depending on how well you vibe with them, real feelings could develop, especially on Stu's part.

If this happens, the manipulation eases up a little, but this mainly is bc you're already so readily submissive to Stu anyway due to your obsessive nature.

If Stu does fall for you, and you reeeally don't want to be Billy's play thing anymore, Stu would stand up for you. And Billy, who really doesn't see you as much more than a toy, will eventually just agree bc whatever lol. He'll find a new one.

If Billy develops feelings for you though, watch out lol. He won't give you up that easily.

The whole relationship is generally toxic. There's a clear chain of command going from Billy -> Stu -> You and it gives you the least amount of power.

Billy and Stu are best friends, and Stu will most likely be in Billy's court more often then yours unless he really, genuinely falls for you over the years. So for your sake, lets hope he does.

Don't break up with Stu. Not that you want to, considering you're so obsessed with him, but in any case: don't. You will die. Not only bc Stu has a track record of killing his exes but also bc Billy wouldn't let his partner in crime leave him due to the fear of you going to the police.

The relationship does have plenty of good times though. You and Stu are very happy with your arrangement, and if you're also into Billy you get him as side dick as well lol.

But just remember, that despite all the fun times, there's always going to be a certain layer of inequality that blankets your relationship.

[dourpeep]

IT WAS 2AM WHEN I SENT THAT SO I HELD BACK MY SIMPING FOR COLLEGE ALBEDO A LITTLE. tried not to send all my brainrot so I didn't just send a wall of text into your inbox LOL. Some others I thought of were:

- Mona giving astrology forecasts and compatibility readings in this au and Albedo may have asked her about the two of you

- Going to botanical gardens or museums with Albedo but for some reason it feels like a date even when it didn't intent to be. You tug on his sleeve now and then when you see something he might be interested in or even when it's something that excites you, and Albedo can't help but have a soft look in his eyes that he can share this moment with you! Somehow it results in the two of you holding hands - just so neither of you stray from each other of course - and eventually, intertwined fingers. You hear someone say that the two of you seem like a cute couple and you know Albedo heard it too, but neither of you say anything. You feel his hand squeeze yours a little tighter and respond in kind. The two of you are too embarrassed to look at each other but can't help the smiles on your faces.

- Lending Albedo some of your favourite books for pleasure reading and you've left tiny tabs on lines that you like. Perhaps this is before Albedo realizes his feelings so when he reads particularly romantic lines, he wonders if this is how he feels about you. Or did you mark these pages because you feel this way about someone? His stomach is in knots to the thought that you may be intrested in someone that isn't him and he settles for it just being prose.

WHAT YOU WROTE WAS SO CUTE AAA. THANK YOU FOR SIMPING FOR COLLEGE BEDO WITH ME!!

Tugging his hand and not letting go omg . . . you tend to just intertwine pinkies or play with his fingers absent-mindedly that Albedo becomes so accustomed to it so he starts to offer you his hands without a second thought.

WAIT. I gasped at Albedo being a cuddler. He's a little delirious when he first wakes up but you're so comfy that he hugs you a little tighter, asking if you've slept well. You try to reply while worrying about whether or not he can feel your heart thrumming in your chest.

What if Klee is staying with Albedo one night and the three of you fall asleep cuddled up together. Alice comes back early in the morning before any of you are awake and takes a picture. She sends it to Albedo later and he sets it as his phone's wallpaper.

Albedo staring at your lips winded me, thank you.

YES TO THE SWEATERS. I bet Albedo would have the softest and coziest sweaters too! Imagine it being a little cold out and you see Albedo across campus so you bound over to him and give him a hug. You nuzzle into him and mumble out a little 'hello' and say he's warm. You feel his laugh rumble through his chest while he greets you back, wrapping his arms around you

And I LOVE ALL YOUR HEADCANONS! I believe I found your blog around the time you posted Albedo's snort headcanon and it was too much for my heart!! I held tight to that headcanon and never let go lol. I also thought the science + college headcanons you had of him were really nice despite not being necessarily romantic!

Side note: I looked up that lobster fact and that's so cool!!

The Lobster Fact(tm) is my go-to ice breaker and it always fails. I'd imagine it's normally the same w/ Bedo OTL so sad...not many wish to know about potential lobster immortality.

I'm glad that you love the headcanons though!! I enjoy writing for Albedo so so much as you can tell ehe

That being said--if it makes you more comfy to send stuff in a few bursts of asks, I don't mind :DD I'll answer them as usual nodnod

OKIE DOKIE

-

"...Mona, yes?"

"Ah, I was expecting you to come around sooner or later, Kreideprinz."

Really, Albedo didn't mean to stumble upon the Astronomy major, but for some reason the thought of you has been on his mind and the campus' observatory just so happened to be on the way. With the meager hope that...maybe he'd find some sort of answer (in what, he wasn't really sure himself), there she was.

Luckily, she knew just what he was there for.

The moment that she twirls her hand with a wave, telling him that there isn't anything to worry about, the apprehension creeping within his chest at the thought of seeing you next-

disappeared.

It's not often that he turns to less orthodox methods, but he wouldn't lie. Knowing that--at least in Mona's opinion (which tended to be correct, anyway)--the two of you were undoubtly compatible? Something about how your constellations were intertwined...

In fact, Albedo turns a little theory around in his mind. Though based in old folktales, the idea that you gravitate towards those who are made of the very same stardust as yourself, suddenly made sense.

Or, perhaps he was just being hopeful.

-

Little does he know that you most definitely asked Mona about the same thing earlier that day.

-

AHHHHH BUT OF COURSE-

Any of those kinds of places--Botanical Gardens, Art Museums, Aquariums, Zoos, Museums in general--Any place where you're able to utterly lose yourself in your surroundings and look around in awe, really, are your go-to date outing destination!

Usually, it's just the two of you, maybe with Sucrose or Timaeus if it's for a particular class, as well as the occasional Klee in tow whenever Alice is busy with work.

But in this case, fingers interlocked, it's just the two of you on a impromptu trip to the art museum downtown after seeing a promotional banner about a new exhibit. Once inside, you rush along, Albedo trailing close behind with a light squeeze of your hand. The large area used for temporary exhibits isn't far from the entrance, so it's not long until you skid to a stop.

All along the walls are incredibly detailed oil paintings, the thin layered strokes glistening in the light. Albedo takes a moment to whisper to you about how oil paint works.

Due to the thinness of the paint and it's transparency, light passes through every carefully placed stroke, allowing for a unique sort of depth that isn't achievable with other painting media. You smile, the artificial light of the art exhibit making your features glow and Albedo can't help but wonder if you are like those paintings.

So complex, so carefully created in an image perfected with time. Your eyes search his and you say his name and Albedo clears his throat when he realizes he's been staring.

"Do you like this one?"

Ah, you must've assumed he took a liking to this particular painting.

His eyes shift back to it, taking in the sight of the balance of color, the composition, then back to you. He only stares a second longer before nodding.

Whether or not you realize the view he likes is you is something that he dwells on as you both make your way to the next painting.

-

If you had a penny for every time that someone comments on the way you compliment each other, you'd probably be able to pay off your tuition for next semester.

Okay, perhaps not, but the idea still stands.

You're only just at the end of the art exhibit when the security guard wishes the two of you a lovely date. Something about how young love is something to be treasured, something about how the two of you already seem so natural and comfortable in each other's presence.

Before you can mumble out an explanation, Albedo just squeezes your hand, gentle as always, and smiles.

It's a compliment, right? For someone to see how close you are, even if you really are just friends, is a good thing.

Ignoring the warmth that spreads over your cheeks, you smile and turn your head away shyly. Squeezing his hand back, the thought of what it'd be like if you were together crosses your mind.

-

Just as you lend books to him, he lends books to you. Surprisingly, this time it just so happens to be a poetry book--something that you expressed interest in a week ago but ended up not getting.

Within, he's left colorful notes with his neat, slanted writing.

Short discussions (presumably questions to himself) of what the poet must've been thinking, different possible scenarios, are peppered throughout the book. But one just so happens to catch your eye. Rather than a question, it's a statement. Simple, short, and...sweet.

'You carry the aura of the stars.'

The little yellow sticky note pasted beneath a love poem to the night sky stands out. Suppressing a flutter in your chest, you continue reading through the poem book with a few giggles at Albedo's musings until you find a note with most of the words crossed out.

It's entirely unlike him, the way that the dark ink scribbled over the words, making them illegible.

But at the bottom was a continued attempt--one you presume he was satisfied with by the way it lay pristine on the colorful paper.

'You look. I fail to speak.

Your mind, so brilliant as it is I wish to see behind To further appreciate the one I love.

I can only hope one day you shall let me in, So for now I wait patiently by your side.'

Who could he have written this for? You can't help but stare at the poetic attempt, knowing full well that Albedo seldom does something without meaning.

The book closes and you tuck it back on the shelf to ask about later.

-

AAAAA YESYESYESYES I LOVE THAT CUDDLE PILE W/ ALBEDO AND KLEE

Even though Albedo's a grade A student and certified genius (he's adamant in his denial, shaking his head and mumbling about how he just studies hard), he's not entirely a stickler for rules.

Well, that is, Aunt Alice's suggestion that Klee goes to bed by 9.

Instead, the three of you settle in the common room of Albedo's place in a bundle of pillows and blankets at the demands of a pillow fort.

The tv blinks on accompanied by the near silent click of the remote.

"What should we watch?"

Klee always ends up picking the movie. This time, she wants Alice in Wonderland, commenting on how the bunny is like her best friend Dodoco and the blonde girl on screen is named after mommy. Albedo doesn't bother correcting her, even though he knows quite well that dear, sweet Dodoco is a chinchilla.

Between sips of juice and a few mouthfuls of popcorn, the three of you fall asleep, Klee curled up besides you and Albedo's arm draped over you both.

Even when the sun is up in the sky, you sleep peacefully.

So, naturally, Aunt Alice has a spare key just in case something like this happens.

Immediately she's met with the sweetest view--her two kids (she's practically adopted Albedo as her own at this point) and--

Hiding a cheeky smile behind her hand, Alice can't help but sneak a little closer when she spies the way that you and Albedo somehow gravitated closer, his face buried in your hair and yours resting against his collar. Wedged between you with tousled hair, Klee snoozes peacefully.

She snaps a picture, followed by another, and another, and a fourth for good measures before meandering into the kitchen to prep something for breakfast.

Might as well let her three favorite people enjoy the comfort of sleep for a little longer...

You wake up the moment that Klee wiggles her way out of the blankets, nuzzling against the warmth radiating under your cheek.

Nice and cozy. Smells nice...wait.

Eyes fluttering open, you're met with a familiar birthmark and the nearly gone scent of Albedo's cologne.

You nearly pull away until the arm, now wrapped around your waist, pulls you closer accompanied by a satisfied sigh. Ah. You shut your eyes tight when you realize that Albedo's going to be asleep for at least another thirty minutes, resigning to your fate gladly.

Of course, Alice takes the opportunity to snap a few more pictures when you've finally fallen back asleep.

-

YES ALSO ALSO

Speaking of Albedo and sweaters and warm and also the just mentioned cologne. A little fun tidbit--not only are you familiar with the scent of his cologne because he wears it often, but it (in this au) is actually one that you picked out some time back. You probably were at the store together smelling some of the perfumes when you came across one that you were pleasantly surprised by.

Specifically, something that's lightly floral, a little warm but sweet with a hint of earthiness.

The pros? It fits Albedo perfectly! It also kinda sticks well and his place faintly smells of it.

The cons?? Well...you're embarrassed to say that hugging Albedo tends to drag on a little longer than anticipated because it's just such a comforting scent-

Not because you associate it with Albedo or anything-

Ehe

Man I really went to town again, didn't I?? Well, I'm glad that you enjoy my headcanons :DDD Albedo just seems like such a sweet person??? Like endearing in a way that just is...him. If that makes sense.

Brain go brrrrrr

I'll admit that my favorite headcanons for Bedo are mundane and domestic ones though! Like these! Just the little moments where there's nothing really going on except for him and you and ahhhh yesyesyes

Okay that's all-

[metalgearkong]

Between Two Fires - Novel Review

9/10/21

Written by Christopher Buehlman, published in 2012

It's a happy accident that I discovered this book. Between Two Fires is a bleak dark fantasy novel taking place in France at the height of the Black Plague. While some of it is historically accurate, many supernatural and Biblical fantasy elements rear their head throughout the story. The world believes that God and the forces of Heaven have abandoned Earth, especially those hit hardest by the plague. Tomas, an excommunicated knight, now lives a lowly life as a thief and brigand. He meets an orphaned pre-teen girl named Delphine who's family is dead and homestead pillaged. She begs for help and needs to travel urgently to Avignon, the current residing city of the Pope. Saving her from capture and rape by his fellow thugs, Tomas regrettably agrees to help Delphine travel to the holy city.

Between Two Fires reminds me of The Road, only if The Road took place in 1300's France and had the occasional Dark Souls monster. This is a bleak story following just a few characters from one bad situation to the next. Eventually a gay alcoholic priest joins Delphine and Tomas, and the three have great chemistry in the writing. At first, the novel has an episodic feel; every chapter is nearly a self contained scenario where villagers need help for one reason or another. At one point I became so accustomed to this episodic pattern, I lost tension I felt in the story. The trio would encounter a new location, meet new people, and have to solve some sort of problem. I got used to everyone getting out alive--until they didn't. I loved the time spent with these three main characters, and the dialog between them about why God has apparently abandoned humanity is one of the best mysteries of the book. In fact, the book opens with the four horsemen and Lucifer unleashing horrors onto Earth, seemingly to toy with and taunt God.

My interpretation was that the plague on Earth is a direct result of Hell's forces wreaking havoc on humanity just for kicks. Delphine is the only one with any kind of hope an innocence left in her. She seems to have powers as well, such as glancing fleeting images of lesser demons and angels directly affecting the physical world around them. Just who or what Delphine's true identity and purpose are is one of the other best mysteries of the story. Eventually the book steers away from the repetitious side-questing and delves more into the character's psyche and inner turmoil. This is where Between Two Fires begins to run on all cylinders, and where I began to become heavily invested once again.

There's something special about this novel but I can't quite identify what it is. I think it blends just the right combination of dark fantasy, horror, and true life suffering to make a tale that isn't too complicated or pretentious. This is author Christopher Buehlman's second novel ever written, and is far more talented than I would expect someone to be. Between Two Fires is a fairly straightforward story, and with a ton of focus on its limited cast of characters. If you are a fan of horror or historical non-fiction, I do recommend this book. It does have a convoluted ending, but it's something I'm eager to re-read and fully understand in the future. Between Two Fires is a great book despite not being the best of any genre I've read, and I'm happy to have come across it.

[lailarain]

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR DANGANRONPA 3

This is a continuation of this post.

I'm watching Danganronpa 3: The End of Hope's Peak High School Future Arc for the first time.

Episode 6:

Makoto, you fucking genius. Then again, can't Monokuma just make that a new rule if he wants to🤨

LMAO MONACA THINKING SHE WAS CAUGHT🤣🤣🤣

BYAKUYA! I missed u🥰

WAIT WHY THE FUCK IS HE BRITISH ALL OF A SUDDEN💀

Wait Geko Gahara is what now😀

KOMARU AND TOKO YES I MISSED YOUUUU

YES OUR FAVORITE ULTRA DESPAIR LESBIANS ARE BACK AT IT AGAIN😎😎😎😎

HAJIME YES MY NON-SHAPE-KNOWING BRO

Wait....Izuru🤨?

Episode 7:

Monaca, Junko killed HERSELF. Makoto didn't do shit🤨

THE TITLE IS ULTRA DESPAIR GIRLS YEAH BABY

THE WARRIORS OF HOPE ARE ALIVE AND HELPING OUT THE UDGs YES

It's so nostalgic to watch my favorite dynamic duo fight monokumas with the megaphone again🥺🥺🥺

The way she says "neutralizing demonic teddy bears" like it's normal😭

"Unless you like it rough😏"

Okay wtf is up with Toko's voice

Toko's fantasies are WAY more awkward when animated. Whatever they pay Byakuya's VA clearly isn't enough

IS THAT ACTUALLY HOW SHE SEES KOMARU LMAOOOO

BYAKUYA SENSED HER BEING WEIRD LMAOOO

Can Monaca just stfu🙄

HOLY FUCK YES THE LESBIANS ARE HOLDING HANDS I REPEAT THE LESBIANS ARE HOLDING HANDS

"Don't you see? I was HOPEING to defeat you. I R O N Y."

YES NAGITO

"Leave me alone. G O O G L E I T."

Who's gonna tell Monaca that she'll automatically suffocate the moment she breaks the atmosphere?

Istg those two are SO gay for each other

Komaru and Makoto are such wholesome siblings😭

KYOKO BETTER NOT BE THE ONE TO DIE I SWEAR I-

Episode 8:

Wait did he just say the name I think he said😀

I don't even know what to say about this episode title💀

NO MAKOTO SWEETIE IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT😭

Yo why tf does the blonde bitch look like that🤨

NO THAT MOTHER EFFER BETTER GET AWAY FROM KYOKO😤

Did that peach-haired asshole just-

HOLY FUCK POTHEAD GUY NO

POTHEAD GUY KNEW KYOKO AND HER DAD

What the fuck was in that chocolate😀

The bitch killed the love of her life? That's fucked up, man.

Kyoko, we're in a pandemic. Don't lick saliva, he could've had COVID🙄

Kyoko tricked them? Man, what a badass.

Episode 9:

Wait, so if that wasn't an actual exit, does that mean she killed her love for no reason?

The building is underwater? This game keeps on coming up with insane scenarios, I swear

Okay, blonde bitch has officially LOST HIS MARBLES.

Makoto please don't blame yourself🥺🥺🥺

DID THIS BLONDE BITCH JUST-

Wait....SO SHE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO KILL HIM?

AND HE STILL KISSED HER WTF

Aoi and Makoto's friendship is so cute🥰

Kyoko's gonna die, isn't she?😟

KYOKO NO SHE SACRIFICED HERSELF KNOWING SHE WAS GONNA DIE AGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

BLONDE BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP HE JUST LOST KYOKO THIS ISN'T ABOUT HOPE

(No joke I am genuinely about to cry now. She better not be dead)

Episode 10:

Awwww I remember this is when she rescued him🥺

Kyoko really is with Atua now😔😇

"She died protecting me from myself" that line HURT, man

Awww poor Makoto is crying🥺🥺

Blonde bitch looking like he be POSSESSED or some shit

Wait what's that on Kyoko's body

how DARE this blonde ass motherfucker make Makoto bleed. Breathing the same oxygen as him was rude enough🙄

Bullying a girl Makoto? Not cool, Hajime Blonde Bitch

IT HIT HIM IN THE BACK OF THE NECK LMAOOO

Did he.....is Makoto....

Ohhhh He's keeping Makoto alive because he'll be trapped. For a second, I thought this was a redemption arc lol😂

Istg this guy is SO aggressive for no reason🙄✋

THE FACT THAT MAKOTO ISN'T ATTACKING YOU AND TRYING TO TALK IT OUT WHILE YOU BEAT HIM UP IS LITERAL PROOF THAT HE IS ON THE SIDE OF HOPE YOU FUCKING DUMBASS🤦‍♀️

WAIT SO EVERYBODY IS AN ATTACKER!?!?

Okay that's it this blonde bitch and me bouta throw hands for punching Naegi👊

Okay I know this scene is sentimental and all but how the fuck is Naegi still standing😀

Okay I wasn't expecting blonde bitch to cry this is actually pretty sad

WAIT SO WHO'S THE ATTACKER?!?!?

Episode 11:

I was wondering how they reacted to the outside world so this is cool

Wait why is ponytail girl smiling evilly😀

Suicide? Idk sounds unlikely to me🤔

Makoto is such a marder it's actually insane

MAKOTO PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE

Okay who in the literal fuck is the attacker tho

What the fuck is that video and where is Makoto I'm so confused rn

ARE THOSE THE VICTIMS?!?!?

WAIT WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MAKOTO WAS HE TRIGGERED WHAT'S GOING ON

NAEGI HOLY FUCK DON'T DO IT

WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIS EYES HE LOOKS LIKE NAGITO WHEN HE'S RANTING ABOUT HOPE WHAT THE FUCK

BUFF GUY IS ALIVE HOLY SHITBALLS

WAIT SO IT REALLY WAS SUICIDE?!?!?

NO BUFF DUDE DON'T GIVE IN TO DESPAIR STAY ALIVE

YES BUFF DUDE STAY ALIVE AND SAVE THEM DONT DIE

YES BLONDE BITCH GO SAFE YOUR BRO AND TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL

NOOOOOOOOOO BUFF BROOOOOOOO

Wait IS TENGAN ALIVE?!?!?!?

(sorry about all the capitals)

Episode 12:

FINAL EPISODE BABY LET'S GO

Wait so is the video that forced the reserve course students to commit suicide and the one that made Makoto go batshit crazy one in the same?

Heh heh spiral eyes go brrr

Shy guy why are you freaking out what did you do

"You need to know the truth. I've liked anime for as long as I can remember" wow what a shock that the ultimate animator likes animation😀

"You're the exception to the rule and you damn well know it" damn shy guy

wait shy guy what are you doing

SHY GUY NO-

WAIT HE COULDN'T USE HIS TALENT

Did he just say eliminate😀

Shy guy what in the ever-loving fuck are you doing

BLONDE BITCH YES

Okay this is such an elaborate plot twist wtf

AWWW BLONDE BITCH🥺🥺🥺🥺

ASAHINA NO

SHY GUY DON'T YOU DARE PRESS YES

Thank god there's a timer😅

TOKO KOMARU NOOOOOO

WAIT MONACA TOO? SHE'S ALIVE!?!?!?!?

This isn't looking too good for Makoto and Blonde Bitch

WAIT JUNKO IS ALIVE?!?!?!?!?!

JUNKO CALLED OLD GUY OLD AND CRUSTY LMAOOO

Why do I like Junko so much

"Get over it, slut. We're dead😋"

WAIT THAT'S IT!??!?! IT'S OVER?!?!? WHAT HAPPENED?

Am I supposed to watch Despair Arc Now?

Okay I think it's over.

Next, it's time for the only reason I decided to watch the anime: to watch the despair arc for more NAGITO.

[bxoken-heartss]

@tu-sonrisaaa-te-amooo asked: Could you do the 8 and 17 fluff with Joel? tht would be cute (ik u hate him lol u could do zabdi if u want)

Lmao I don't hate him Bby..he can just be a bit dramatic sometimes...that's all 🙆‍♀️

Prompts: (I did a bit of alterations in it so excuse me)

“I want to dance through an army of fireflies with you.” (Prompt 8)

“My hand was made to fit into yours. That’s all there is to it.” (Prompt 17)

So Y/N is your name

~ ~ ~ means change of scenario.

✓ ✓ ✓ means the end.

So...ahem...this went a bit more than I intended it to go...I swore I would just write drabbles but I guess old habits die hard? So this is it? I hope you like it Dia! 💕😅 (oh new nickname alert)

This song is beautiful and sorta inspired me! 💕

- - -

Y/N and Joel were friends ever since they were little kids...They had met when Joel had gotten lost wandering around in a series of pet shops staring at pets (especially various dog breeds and puppies). When his senses had hit him..he understood he had gotten lost..he began to feel nervous and uneasy and let out childish sobs as he began to run around looking for his mother.

He barely paid attention to anything around him as he only focused in searching for his mother that which eventually ends up with him bumping onto someone.

"Ouch! Why can't you watch where the hell they are going?!" A voice speaks

Joel falls down as he looks at the person speaking...a little girl who held a husky in her arms on the floor angrily glaring at him

"I'm so sorry...I didn't..." He begins as he stares at the husky...

"It's fine...Just watch where you're going at least the- -" She begins

"Is that the Siberian Husky?" Joel asks interrupting her as he stands up

"I'm kind of offended that you interrupted me...But yes...yes it is.." She replies as she possessively holds her husky

"Can...Can I pet it?" He asks as he looks at the husky eagerly

"Well sure I guess..." She says as Joel begins petting the husky.

A few minutes later, the duo had already begun talking about...dogs things in general..

"Y/N! There you are!!" I was looking all over for you!" A voice speaks, tone concerned

"Oh..Mumma..I was just on my way back but then this boy bumped into me and apparently loves Zachary a bit too much.." She says as she points at Joel

And that's when our oblivious little Joel realizes that he was lost and was supposedly supposed to find his mother..not stand here fanboying over a husky.

His eyes widen as he looks around, searching for his mother a.k.a his official/ main intention...Panic strikes his system as he realizes he was obviously potentially lost..

"Are you okay Joel?" Y/N asks

"I'm LOST!" Joel replies as he looks at her letting out childish sobs

"Oh god...Mumma...Help him!" Y/N says

"Listen lil boy...we'll find your mother...do you like know her number or anything.." Y/N mother asks

"Yes..." He replies as he tells her the number letting out soft sobs

The husky jumps onto Joel's arms as it began licking his face. Joel stopped crying slowly as he began smiling a bit.

"Oh my god...He is just so adorable..." Joel says as he pets the husky

"Yeah...he seemingly likes you..strange..he's not pretty comfortable with strangers.." Y/N comments

Soon Joel's mother comes in, her eyes scanning around, her eyes instantly gleaming with happiness as she finds Joel.

"Joel!!!" She says as she runs over and hugs him, Zachary jumping out of Joel's arms onto the ground.

"Mumma!!" Joel yells as he hugs her, sobbing quietly

Y/N stepped away a bit letting them have their moment.

"Thank you for finding him! He's always roaming around..pet stores...or just everywhere in general...I'm so sorry for his careless actions...and all the inconveniences he has caused you..." Joel's mother apologizes

"Oh not at all...He wasn't a bother at all.." Y/N's mother reassures

"Joel...at least next time don't go around without telling your mum! If you want a pet come over to my place...We can play with Zachary together..." Y/N says as she smiles at him, holding her mother's hand

"Okay..I will." Joel says smiling at her as he pets Zachary one last time...

"Bye Joel! See you...well...soon?" She says as she walks off..

That was how it all began...After that, one day he had turned up at her place surprisingly...They were next door neighbours...And eventually they spent a lot of time together..which lead to their everlasting friendship which began at the age of 6..

~ ~ ~

"Joel...when am I going to see you again?" Y/N asks as she lazily sat on his bed whilst she helped him with her luggage.

"Around 9 months...I'll be back soon.." Joel says as he puts in another shirt

"Oh come on...that's technically the entire year!" Y/N comments as she rolls her eyes

"I swear I would have taken you if it wasn't for your Fashion Designing Course..If that had been completed..then you could have joined.." Joel says as he stuffs in something else

"Yeah yeah..it's important right...I'm going to miss you Jo..." She says as she looks at him

"Me too..I wish there was something I could do.." Joel says as he walks over towards her.

"Just promise that you'll facetime me before all your performances..and just text me once at least every day...send me those lame audios of yours...I don't care.." Y/N says as she holds his hand...

He was still here...not gone..why did he have to leave?

"Hey...I'll text you and call you everyday.. You're my best friend...If I wouldn't call you.. who else would I?" He asks as he holds her hand and hugs her

~ ~ ~

"Wow! That was a spectacular show right boys?" Joel asks obviously excited as he walked behind the stage...

"Yes..exhausted but overwhelming..." Richard replies as they walk into the room backstage

Zabdiel immediately falls onto the couch, Erick cools off, Chris begins to fix his hair

"God..Why hasn't Y/N even seen my message! She didn't even facetime me today or even call me! Isn't that just mean?!?" Joel comments as he slumps onto the couch

"Yes...call her mean and every other negative word you could think of Ho-eL! She brought her arse from miles away, sat on a 13 hour flight just so she could surprise her best friend and yet you call her that?" A voice speaks from behind him

"Wait...a minute..." Joel trails as he instantly turns behind and sees Y/N

"Y/N- - !!!!" His tone surprised and shocked as he leaps off the couch and hugs her, a few years falling through his cheeks in the rush of excitement.

"Curls!!" She yells as she hugs him.

They hug on forever none of them every wanting to let go...Until an intentional cough from the guys pulls them away

"Ah...err...Guys! Meet my bestie Y/N!" Joel says as he grabs her hand heading towards the boys

"We talked Curls...I talked to everyone and they all helped me hide...You guys were amazing...The performance was just fantastic!" She comments as the boys yell out a chorus of thanks

"Okay so everyone except me knew that you were here?" Joel asks

"Duh curls...I couldn't sneak into backstage without their help..." Y/N says referring to the boys.

Joel grabbed her arm and pulled her into an empty room and pulls her into a hug again

"I'm so glad to have you here...Thank you for the support.." Joel says

"Wow wow...I never knew I'd see a sweet side of you Joel..." Y/N remarks

"Shut up and just hug me..." Joel says rolling his eyes

She returns the gesture as they kept hugging, an odd source of comfort filling both their veins.

~ ~ ~

"Joel...this is beautiful..." Y/N comments as she looks around the woods.

It was a small forest sort of place filled with thick green trees and a small river which gleamed with reflections of the littered stars that laid scattered in the skies.

"I know right..." Joel says as he looks at the river and at her..

They spent a lot of time making jokes and just talking about life...he had just returned from tour a few days before and thought he ought to spend some quality time with his best....friend...

He almost sighed at his own thoughts..he had begun to have feelings for her...but he didn't want to let them interplay..he didn't want to lose her...he needed her as a friend at least in his life..his feelings didn't have any part in this...but he couldn't help but wonder everytime she smiled..was she thinking about him? Did she think of him..as something more than a friend?

"Joel..Joel...HOEL!" Y/N yells.

Joel's eyes widen in shock as he falls off the log he sat on because of how loud she yelled and how distracted he was..

"Oh god...you are so clumsy sometimes Curls! Wait..actually all the damn time!" She says as she holds out her hand, Joel gratefully accepting her extended hand as she pulls him up.

"Look at that Y/N..My hand was made to fit into yours..” Joel comments as he sits up

Y/N face floods with a tint of pink as she nervously laughs it off..but never lets go off his hand..

"Of course you dummy...We are besties so god made sure it would work that way.." She replies uneasily

"Y/N I want to tell you something.." He says interrupting her from speaking further

An awkward moment of painful silence fills the air...

"What is it Joel?" She asks nervously

"It's.. it's..." Joel begins but his anxiety kicks in.

"If you don't tell her now...you'll never tell her or know if she felt the same.. you'll probably live in regret but you have to! " His inner voice encourages as he takes a deep breath

"I...I like you..." He breathes out

"I like you too Joel! You are my best fr- -" Y/N begins

"No Y/N...I like you more than a best friend.. you make me feel warm and mushy on the inside..I don't feel anything else around anyone else...You make me feel safe, happy. You understand me...We fight..but that's only because you care..but I like you in a different manner...You make me want to the cringy -est stuffs like taking couple pictures, share smoothies together, go on dates...and make me wanna dance with you in between an army of fireflies under the moonlight and what nots.. and to think that you make these cliché activities look normal...that's weird and definitely not something I feel one fine day.. I knew I always had these feelings..But I realized them...only recently...I understand if you don't feel the same..but just so you know I'll keep loving you..on and on..." He finishes off

"Who said I never had feelings for you Joel?" She asks "Every night... I'm just waiting and wondering if you have found someone that'll make you feel like that..Because why not? There are millions out there..prettier, hotter and just beautiful girls out there waiting for you so why would you choose me over them? Yeah... nothing.."

"Y/N I don't care...for you were..are the only girl I've had my eyes on...from the start.. today and forever..." Joel says as he holds both her palms. (I'm low-key swooning 🤧)

Before she could answer, Joel extends his free hand and pulls her up.

They walk over towards a place where the moonlight reflected brightly and the clear water flowing gently, causing small ripples as if it was singing a song.

"Well...can I have a dance with you?" Joel asks as he extends his hand out in a sorta gentleman style

Y/N nods softly as she takes his hand, his hand instantly softly interlocking with hers as she rests her free hand on his shoulder, his free hand holding a space above her waist securely..

As they began to softly dance in sync, an army of fireflies had encapsulated around them causing her to smile wide.

"Look Joel...True to your 'cliché' wishes..the fireflies are here..." Y/N jokes about it as Joel's face floods with a bright pink colour.

They enjoyed the overall aura, the silence suddenly turning comfortable...as they merely enjoyed each others' presence without any words being exchanged.

"So..Y/N..." Joel begins

"Hmm?" She asks as they continue dancing

"Will..will you be my girlfriend?" He asks nervously

Y/N stops dancing as she tries to catch Joel's gaze..but the boy would look at anyone or anything but her..

Y/N stood on her toes as she holds his face with both hands as she stares at his beautiful dark brown orbs, her eyes filled with nothing but love..that too only for him.

Joel looks at her nervously and before he could speak anything, she softly presses her lips against his. He instinctively bends down a bit to reach upto her height as his hands wrap around an area a bit above her waist.

She pulls away, Joel's arms still firmly fixated above her waist as he looks at her

"Did that answer your question Pimentel?" She asks, her tone filled with sassiness

"For real Y/N?" He asks in disbelief

"Yes Joel..For real...I promise you...I'll be there for you..." Y/N says as Joel smiles

"I love you Y/N.." He says

"I love you only..Joel Pimentel.." Y/N says as Joel pulls her in for another kiss.

✓ ✓ ✓

The Ending kinda sucked tbh...but anyways hehehe... I'll try to improve! 😅🙃

[scharoux]

11 Questions Meme

Tagged by @lyrium-lovesong 💛 Thank you!

Rules: Answer 11 questions, then write 11 of your own and tag 11 people to answer.

Lyrium's Questions:

1. What did you want to be when you were a kid? Did that pan out?

I honestly can't remember for sure what I wanted to be when I grew up as a kid. I think there was a time I really wanted to be a marine biologist, but it was mostly because I wanted to be a mermaid and that was the closest I could get 😜

2. What’s one regular self-care ritual you do for yourself that you treasure?

Every Saturday night after the kids are in bed, I go have a hot bath with loads of scented bath salts and light a bunch of candles. It's relaxing and helps me unwind after a busy week.

3. If you could have one wish to grant purely for altruistic purposes (without worrying about any of those shitty “be careful what you wish for” gotcha scenarios that genies love to spring on you), what would you choose?

Wow....I mean.... that's a tough one. I'd like there to be a cure for cancer (obviously with everything going on in my life right now), but I'd also want those totally cliche things like world peace. It probably sounds silly, but what I genuinely want more than anything is for my kids to grow up in a world that isn't so incredibly f*cked up and judgmental of everyone and everything.

4. Favorite pizza topping combo?

This makes me hungry just thinking about it! Chicken, basil, feta cheese, onions, peppers, parmesan cheese. YUM!!!

5. You have $500 to spend on yourself, but there’s a catch--it has to be on something totally frivolous. What do you buy?

LOL! It would be one of two things...

1) a new lens for my camera

2) more art for my walls. Specifically Dragon Age themed for my drawing work space.

6. What was the make and model of your first car, if you drive? How old were you when you got it?

Toyota Highlander. I was 21.

7. You’re buying (or building!) your dream house, and money is no object. Describe your new home.

My dream home is a big beautiful two story craftsman style house with a shingle and rock exterior. It has a bedroom for each of my kids, as well as a craft room for me with big windows for lots of light. it has a massive kitchen (cuz my hubby and I love to cook/bake) with a built in wall oven and walk in pantry. Big open space to socialize and visit in. Has to have a covered deck on the front and back, as well as a big yard. It's a pipe dream, but maybe one day a reality 🤞

8. What’s your favorite smell?

Vanilla or anything that smells like baking or sweet spices.

9. Describe your earliest memory.

The earliest memory I have is playing with my cousin's in my grandparents back yard. Just good ol' fun childhood memories.

10. You just found out you have a year left to live. What’s on your bucket list?

That's a good question! I'd obviously want to spend as much time with my kids and family as possible, so I'd probably plan a big vacation.

• Travel to the UK (Scotland and Ireland especially) as well as a jaunt over to Iceland. I'd also want to get down to New Zealand if I could.

• Go to The Wizarding World because I am a massive Potter Head!

• I would love to swim with Manta Rays and/or a Whale shark. I would have added manatees to that list but I'm pretty sure that's illegal now 🤔

11. Share a photo you have saved on your computer or phone that you love. What is it about this image that brings you joy?

This is my eldest. I love this picture because it just reminds me of all the joy he and his siblings have brought to my life since becoming a Mom. #Momlife

My Questions:

*Sorry if these have been asked before*

1. What is your absolute favorite memory?

2. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go and why?

3. Is there anything you regret enough that if given the option you would go back and undo?

4. What's your most embarassing memory?

5. Where do you hope to see yourself in 10 years?

6. Where is the most exciting place you've been? What was your favorite experience in this new location?

7. If humanity found a way to colonize the moon but you couldn't return to Earth once there, would you go or stay on Earth? Why?

8. What is your favorite breakfast food?

9. If you had to sum up your personality in three words what would they be?

10. Do you like your coffee black or with fixings? If you don't drink coffee, answer for tea. If you don't drink either, how do you function?!

11. What is your all time favorite movie? Ie. The movie you have watched a hundred times and can quote back to front without effort.

Tagging anyone who wants to do this! Just tag me so I can read your responses 😁

[ghostofscarley]

'SCARLEY RAMBLES' TIME

this episode - her shitty crush life?? love life?? of 2020 as a 15 year old (oh, and she can sing??)

first of all, i remember being sick and therefore stuck in my room to avoid getting the other members of my family sick too, and so miss girl was stuck in her bed for a good few days and one day i had finished the latest (at the time) chapter of the second book of rewrite the stars (hehe, love you forever and always em @emso12 <3) whilst, naturally, listening to the playlist i had made for the first and orginal book.. being stuck and bored, miss girl decided to sing and record a few songs from the playlist, as well as give them povs.. now you may be wondering..

scarley, how does this involve your love life of 2020??

well, you see that name there in that pov?? that 'j' name?? yeah so.. i'm scarred,, somewhat

see, now this guy, i had just met bc it was the first time we had a class together.. and it was pe of all classes.. so it's australian year 9, i'm 14.. and this guy is like early 06' whilst i'm late 05'.. we become friends like early february and i'm already enamoured.. AND I'M FUCKING OUTED.. now you'd think that at this point, bc i'm outed, we aren't on talking terms anymore.. no this guy says smth along the lines of "i treasure you as a friend, but for now i'm not looking to date rn".. so we're all good, his birthday comes, i get him.. well tbh.. for a year 9 student, i got him pistachios (as his favourite snack), this cool ass cap and a homemade card, drawings, message and all.. he tells me abt all his soccer games, we're just almost always texting..

IT GETS SEXUAL FROM THIS POINT (ok warning has been given)

idk how it started but i just knew it was like mid april.. it wasn't anything too crazy, it was literally just pictures.. well from just me anyway but he literally fed my, well.. now i know it as a praise kink.. there was always clothes tho, no nudity whatsoever.. well not until mid october but we'll get to that soon.. so, this boy knows what i look like underneath my shirt.. like i sent shit without a shirt but i had a bra on.. and so, there isn't sexual tension but like.. it's so obvious i really like him, and to me, i guess this was my validation or my sliver of hope.. we're doing good, he's, not my best friend but he knows so much abt me and vice versa..

mid october comes, and it's when i'm dog sitting with friends an hour or two from where our houses are located (somewhere in the gold coast from my aussie loves) and there's no adults so it's just myself and three other friends and thats when.. this sexual thing starts.. and as an excited and crushing school girl, i did the one thing that he didn't necessarily want and told that little circle bc.. i knew it wouldn't leave that circle (until it did literally a month or two later - without the guy knowing too which baffled me bc we share mutual friends and they can be obvious) and.. i'm 15, i'm this hormonal teenager that now has some kind of relationship with the boy she has the biggest crush on.. even if it was a friends with benefits situation..

and, it's from here where.. the pictures aren't so.. non-sexual.. he was always so sweet abt it bc if i couldn't send anything, unlike most guys, he neverade a big deal abt it.. if i said no, it was a no and we went on with our day.. we did photos, videos, scenario texts, planning what we'd do if we could.. on boxing day, he and our mutual friend, my best friend (at the time) had even spent a few hours with myself and my nephew in our pool.. the sexual tension was crazy but nothing..

then from here, well.. your girls mental health goes downhill, with the upcoming school year of year 10, this guy who's in this thing, doing shit with other girls, i was.. i had to think abt what would be best for me.. and i.. i wanted opinions as to which of the two choices would be best.. those choices being: i end what we had and focus on my mental health OR i continue what we had bc at this point, i just knew i was in love with this guy (11 months is a long time) but my mental health would not improve..

remember that best friend that came over on boxing day and how he was a mutual friend?? i thought "he's my best friend AND his friend, maybe he'll know what's best".. so i told him.. and.. uh he said "shut the fuck up, i can't believe you'd go behind my back and do this, you both are unbelievable, this is why i have trust issues" and bearing in mind, this was the same guy that had said 2 weeks prior to this that i had two holes to fuck both joseph and this other friend of theirs.. bc they knew i liked joseph and there was some thing with this other guy that i don't know too much abt..

anyway.. so he goes off at me, then not only him, not only joseph but that whole group blocks me and.. it's like.. it really was like my whole world had gone black.. then somewhat started a rumour abt me or said i started a runour abt them and it all went to shits.. i felt awful and THEN i find out from a good friend.. that he had been talking.. like t a l k i n g to another girl (who i knew and bless her) and i just felt used.. bc whilst this guy and i were planning in fucking losing our virginities, he was talking to a girl i knew (we literally bonded over this bc neither of us knew abt the other, and she could not emphasise more on the fact that she did not know abt me and the thing i had with him)..

(tw: self harm, dried blood)

i was.. it wasn't the best time for me.. i had lost at this point, 3 months of being clean before i just couldn't stop myself.. and then he unblocked me, followed me and then texted me saying that he wanted to meet up the next day at school to properly apologise.. i agreed bc i knew i deserved it.. and i did get the apology i deserved (and the girl absolutelyhackled him, making sure he did give me the apology i deserved).. i was silent most of this talk, moreso.. mindlessly staring and trying not to pick at the dried blood whilst also trying to formulate what to say.. he ended up staying with me the whole break, not just walking off after saying sorry, and he did walk me to my class and after this talk i was so sure that we were okay.. i was ready to mend my mental health and my heart to continue to pour to him..

and then he blocked me a month later.. and, we've had minor conversations but it hasn't been the same since.. before him, i loved one other person but i was like 13 (it's just.. when yk, yk) so going thru this really was my first, and hardest heartbreak

i will always feel sick if i see, read, hear or say the name 'joseph'.. and it'll never be the same for me..

if you stayed till the end (haha, shameless promo), well fuck i love you.. and we're basically best friends now bc.. that story.. is probably one of the biggest things to happen in my life.. given it took a good year of my mid teen years.. anyway, it's borderline 4am so imma get some rest BUT I LOVE YOU ALL AND FUCK ALL THE JOSEPHS (except the sweet ones reading this/who read this, i love ig) muah <3